Tips to Cope When Life Gets Crazy + What's on My Mind

{Blogged with hot tea, Kleenex and the flu}  Life is crazy for me right now, although I imagine this post could be written by any of us.  It is not just one part of my life either— its like everything is going bonkers all at once.  At home, poor Huddy has pneumonia, which is the most awful thing, but because this boy is an absolute angel, it is a lot easier than it could be. He doesn’t complain (EVER), he takes his medicine every time I ask him to and it looks like its going to be okay. You mamas know that there is nothing worse than having to stand helplessly by, knowing our children are sick, but I am hoping in the next week, he will be back to normal.  What won’t be back to normal in a week is my poor hubby.  In May 2017, he had spine surgery.  This surgery was the culmination of 5 intense weeks of extreme, debilitating pain for him, radiating down his neck and left arm, surgeons trying to schedule his procedure, us looking for any alternative to surgery…and unfortunately,  its back.  This time, its his lower back. We are hot on the trail for alternate treatments but  sometimes, when nerve pain is involved, the choices are limited.  On top of this, work is bananas.  I talk about this sometimes on Instagram but the past 15 months or so since leaving my old firm to start my own have been crazy. Like,  non-stop work and while the opportunities are exhilarating,  it is just a lot of dang work!  When life gets extra crazy for me (I also have in the mix Addison’s birthday party planning, family from Chicago coming into town later this week, and girl scout cookie sales. AND I have a cold!) here is what I do to keep sane (and I would love to hear your tips):

Try to grab silence whenever I can. I will forgo phone calls in the car on my way into the office for just blessed…silence.  Maybe I listen to a podcast, maybe just music but for 25 minutes I am wrapped in a solo cocoon and its nice.

Keep copious lists.  I go from old school hand-written lists to Wunderlist (my fave list app) and between them all, I keep everything in mind and it gets done. I think this will depend on your personality, but I tend to fill my plate to overflowing at times, and I don’t say no. I just acknowledge that it will be a rough week/month, whatever, and that realization seems to help. I know the super hard times won’t last forever,  and I just put my head down and push through.

Take baths.  Before kids, I took a bath every night; me, bubbles and a good book. Now, baths are somewhat of a luxury but when it’s crazy, I find even 10 quick minutes in a hot bath, with or without a book, helps. It’s warm, it’s quiet and it’s a stress reliever in some weird way.

I don’t think there is any magic answer for us when times are crazy but managing the crazy is key.  At the end of the day, we will get through it and as long as everyone is healthy and happy, life is just fine, right?! What are some things you do? I would love to hear from you!!

What’s on My Mind: Here are the things I’m currently obsessed with:

1. This book. I just finished it and I’m on the hunt for something new!

2. Anything that is true crime related. (Making a Murderer got us hooked!) We just finished this and this and they were SOOO good!  We are right in the middle of The Innocent Man.

3. Home design.  We want to move (I’ve been saying this forever- our neighbors and our street are just so wonderful that it makes us lazy house lookers.  When THE perfect house comes along, we’ll jump)  but until we do, I want to remodel certain parts of our home to make it appealing (to me and the future owner).  I am knee deep in house stuff and looking for a wall where I can paste this.

4. This mask. Its reasonably priced, and it gives me a rosy, fresh look without any makeup. I use a mask every time I shower and I love this one because its has some texture to exfoliate, too.

5. Blue light rays and standing desks.  I read someplace that sitting is the new smoking. Yikes! So, I ordered this for work and while I was at it, a pair of these too.  (They are from a women owned company, which is pretty awesome)!

6. Sunny destinations. We have our annual Maui trip in October and a few Palm Springs trips booked, but I want to add one more kind of close by, 3-day vacay, like maybe here.

   I remind myself that in the end, everything is going to be okay and you know why? Because it WILL! Thank you so much for stopping by- Sweetly, Michelle

Have A Little Faith?

{Blogged over the Greatest Showman soundtrack} Happy Wednesday! I am not sure why I made the effort today to come to the blog and write. Its been a while. #lifeisabsolutelycrazy Writing always makes me feel better, calmer, more focused and a little more centered.   Last night, I stumbled upon a news story that involved horrific abuse to a 2 year old boy by his mother and father. Unmentionable, heart-breaking, soul-crushing abuse that, 36 hours after injury, when his parents finally brought him to the hospital, he ultimately died from.  2 years old, and probably very little of that time filled with any sort of love or joy.  We see so much tragedy on a daily basis that I sometimes feel like we become immune to it. 

But not this story. Not this time. 

This tragedy- and the picture of the smiling tow-headed boy that accompanied it- stayed with me. I raged and cried to my husband, I cried helplessly while trying to sleep, I cried when I woke up this morning.  At the best of times, I am a highly empathetic person who tears up at the drop of a hat, but this has weighed so heavy on me. Being a mother of a 20 month old little boy myself might have something to do with it, but it occurred to me today- as it has so many times in the past- that children are excruciatingly vulnerable, and there is nothing more than a dice roll that determines the parents we get. Are you the unfortunate recipient of a mother who spends her money on her nails (or drugs) instead of diapers? Or a dad that is short-tempered or cruel or disinterested?  Everyone I know takes parenting so seriously- from the food we feed our children, to schoolwork, to their activities-- that we forget there is a whole world out there of emotionally and physically neglected, abused children.  I want to scoop up every child (and dog!) and bring them to live with me in a loving home.  

I wasn't sure where to turn, so I turned to God and I prayed. It still didn't feel like enough and I have to admit that here is where my faith is always tested the most-- because how can we believe in a benevolent loving God in a world where terrible things are allowed to happen to innocents?  It bothers me, this.  But I prayed about it and here I am, feeling a bit better but wanting so much to roll up my sleeves and help somewhere.  I lead a life that is as busy as everyone's and finding time to volunteer seems daunting. Donating money doesn't seem like enough.  I am going to find a path for good here and just TRY to do something.  I think we live in a world where people constantly proclaim themselves blessed, but so much of those basic blessings are things beyond our control.  I think I want to count my blessings, yes, always, but also try to give to those who don't have these same blessings. 

This is a heavy post, but I hope that's ok.  The world is a heavy place and there are times when it feels good to turn to this beautiful community, because its a reminder that good people are still out there.    Sending love and brighter days to us all- Sweetly Michelle

Floral set (similar) Here, Here, Here  Here and Here

Purses (similar) Here

Shoes (similar) Here and Here

January Check Up

{Blogged over Thin Mints. Because it’s that time} I figured this was a good opportunity to check in and see where we are with our resolutions/ goals/ intentions/ whatever they are called! I am feeling pretty good about 2018, month one (the rest of the year might turn into a disaster, so I’m not getting too gloaty here!) For a little refresher on my goals, go here.  So far I have:

-Tried an escape room (So so SO fun!!!) I went with me and my hubby for a date night but we have several others planned with friends.  My husband and I love any and all games and this was right up our alley. Totally addicting and challenging (and humbling!) Try one (and if you live in Orange County, message me and I will tell you all about the one we went to! They were wonderful!)

- Spent almost every weekend outside (thank you, CA weather!) at new parks. We’ve spent time at the Great Park (in Irvine), at two parks in San Juan and it’s been great.  Anyone with children knows that the best thing for them is to get outside. We’ve packed lunches and dinners and just let them run around on the grass, play on swings, night swim—and it’s been  wonderful.  We are not taking this fabulous weather for granted one bit!

-Traded out paper towels for cloth towels. I know, it’s not much but it’s a start for us.  Kids make everything super messy  and we can easily go through a paper towel roll (or two!) a day. Now, we are trying to be very good at  drying our hands, drying dishes, and wiping the counters with a cloth towel.   With all of the germs floating around lately,  I have been washing the towels non-stop but it is working out so far!   I hope to make one small change a month and by the years end, it will make a much bigger impact! Next month: cloth napkins for everyday!! 

-  Focusing on my kids when I get home. I have been diligent about putting my phone down and just concentrating on them for the short time I have before they go to sleep.  For me, my weekdays are a little bit of time with the kids in the morning over breakfast and then the absolute tornado of dinner/baths/bedtime at night.  Its not nearly enough, and it sometimes really gets to me, how fast life moves and how weeks turn into months.  It makes me sad to be away from them so much, but  I try not to dwell on it and just focus on the joy of the moment.    So far, its working! 

-Tried an at home work out video.  I have only done a few so far, and it’s been so-so. I am a runner at heart, but I’m struggling to find the time. For any kind of exercise.  I’ve started to do videos after the kids go to sleep, and I think if I stick with this, it will be because I find good ones! I will let you know what I find-- and I'd love to hear your favorites too!

How are you all doing with your resolutions?  I would love to hear from you and hang in there! Sweetly, Michelle 

Looking Behind In Order to Look Forward

{Written with an optimistic heart— and a pile of gummi bears #haribo} 

As always, I can’t believe this year has come to an end. They always just seem to fly right on by, don’t they? I have mixed feelings again about this year, just like I did in 2016. My son was born in 2016, which was one of the best things to ever happen to me, yet we lost my father in 2016, which was one of the very worse things that has ever happened to me.  2017 was a year of firsts for us: we became a family of four, Hudson took his first steps, we celebrated his first birthday, I started my own law firm (and we hired our first associate!!)... and there were other firsts too- all of the holidays without my dad, celebrating his birthday without him. The good and the bad, the ying and yang- this is life. I have come to learn that the euphoric highs and crushing lows are all just a part of the journey.   We will have joy in this life, but we will suffer pain too.  This realization has had a profound impact on my outlook.  It’s made me so cognizant that this moment – – the mundane, the routine, even the boring – – will never come again  and we need to embrace it as much as possible. And trust with all our heart that God has a plan for us. With all this in mind, my 2018 thoughts/hopes/ goals are shaping up to look a little bit as follows: 

1.  Be more mindful of the things that I buy for my family:  try to buy sustainable, quality, local, good-for-our-world kind of goods as much as possible. Sometimes, this whole concept seems so overwhelming to me, but I am going to start making small, smart, changes and hopefully it will snowball.

2. Play more outside!!! 

3. Have engaged conversations with my kids.  I sometimes feel like I am running around doing 26 different things at once and I am listening to what my daughter is telling me while making dinner and dictating an email into my phone.  I need to slow it down and put it down and be present. 

4.  More spontaneity: I like to plan everything out with long lists.  I need to toss those out the window more often and just make memories! We live about an hours drive from a million great places to explore- now, I just need to get out there and do it!  

5.  Strive to have a grateful heart and show this to my children.  My husband and I send each other emails about the things we are grateful for, just to make sure we remember how fortunate we are. I need to somehow incorporate this in the conversations I have with my kids because  they do learn by osmosis and we (my family but more broadly, basically everyone who lives in the United States) have an abundance of blessings. We can (and should) find something to be thankful for every minute of every single day.  Kids are greedy little monsters at this age 😊 and I know this, but it still bothers me a bit how much they constantly want want want. I would love to try and have my children realize that we have enough of everything. Not the least of which are the most important things —each other. 

6. Find a little more time for myself.  As a  mom, I seem to spend 28 hours a day fulfilling the needs of my family.  I am not complaining — this comes with the territory!  While I am happy to do this,  since Hudson was born, I find I have zero time for myself – – a nail appointment, a facial, a run- nada!! I would like to reclaim a little more of me time in 2018 (and not feel guilty about doing it!)

7.  Spend more time dating my husband! This seems impossible in light of #6 but I am gonna try! My marriage has had its share of ups and downs for sure but right now, we are in the best place we’ve ever been.  We turned a corner when we realized that even though we hate leaving the kiddos, we NEED time for ourselves. Even if a date night is just a date lunch or a movie on the couch when the kiddos are asleep- connecting as adults makes us better parents (and people!)

I also like to throw in a few achievable goals each year— things I know there is a chance I will actually do (like, giving up coffee or sugar is never gonna happen). I’m thinking this year, (1) Learn to sew (and actually make something that isn’t only trash can worthy and (2) Do something new every month. My friend Emily did a challenge in 2017 where she did something new every week (and it WAS challenging for her to come up with new ideas ) but so cool. She tried new restaurants, went on a ton of adventures, saw plays, went to museums, and generally, got out of the box! I’m gonna try one a month and see how it goes!

I am so  fortunate to have you all on this journey and I look forward to more of it in 2018.  Happy happy new year! XOXO Michelle 

PS: I did a little 2017 recap below, which I should do every year because as I scrolled through these pictures, I was reminded about what a fun year we had! 

In 2017, we made new friends who are already old friends.... 

We remembered that love is all you need.... 

We saw a heck of a lot of palm trees.... 

We learned to stand tall.... 

We had a Coachella Party (of one)! 

I pulled a tooth (no more of this in 2018! Ugh!) 

We lugged Huddy around to mama’s coffee shop addiction...

We thought about kindness and we tried to spread it.... 

We went to lunch with our cousin... 

More of those palms... 

We learned to crawl... 

We opened our house...

And our hearts.... 

And we filled them with friendships... 

We painted tiles at School... 

We loved bounce bounce bouncing!...

We went to a lot of movies together.... 

We have lift off!!! 

Eight months of this love...

We waited in a long line to see the Easter bunny... 

He was sort of creepy, to be honest... 

We learned that everything at a baseball game is better with friends.....

She did not catch that ball, for the record.... 

Easter Sunday!!!

We made an ombré cake for Easter....

We learned that being with our cousins is the best.... 

Hiiiii cousin! 

Addison loves all of these babies!

We learned that Mother’s Day is one of the best days.. 

Hi mama! 

We learned that we really like bagels.... 

A lot.... 

We learned when you’re a kid, you can pretty much wear jammies everywhere... 

We went to a very special fairy party.. 

We went to Mexican food around 3 times a week!!

We spent time with our dearest friends... 

All sorts of time... 

But no time is enough time.... 

Super mamas! 

Being a baby is tiring stuff... 

We love water... 

A LOTTTTT!!... 

My hubby had a terrifying 3 months that ended with spine surgery... 

But 2 months later, he was on his feet again... 

We played with a lot of furry animals... 

(Do goats count as furry animals?)😊 

All ready for a little swim mama! 

We turned 10 months old! 

We learned we love horses...

We learned that our Mommy loves the USA...

Hudson took a little to warming up to this concept.... 

❤️❤️❤️ 

More Mexican food!!!! 

Before...

After!!! 

We were in a theater group!

We took a little girls day together... 

And went to the Hollywood Bowl!!

More time with our cousin!

Thumb sucker alert! 

Hi Charlotte! 

Bagels are better with friends... 

Happy 4th of July!!! 

More bagels! 

11 months old!! 

We took a trip to Chicago!

How’s that for matchy matching? 

We love our Chicago cousins!! 

Huds first wedding... not particularly impressed... 

Family ❤️❤️❤️ 

Hudson turned ONE.... 

And then went on a juice cleanse 😂

I made an office move....

Saw an eclipse....

Got reacquainted with chocolate malted crunch ❤️

Began an obsession....

Best friends sometimes have fur... 

Fed the obsession again.... 

Saw our cousins in Manhattan Beach.... 

Mom life right here folks

One of only 67 matching pairs!!! 

Happy Halloween! 

We celebrated life’s greatest joys with dear friends... 

We came back to what feels like home.... 

Maui is Magic... 

There are no words for the way some people touch your life and become a part of your heart (and family)... 

More beautiful moments with beautiful friends... 

Santa learned to take careful notes... 

Ready to race into 2018!!!