{Written over bubble gum and marshmallow Jelly Bellies} I am not an expert on anything motherhood, but I am 3 weeks into baby number two and I have to tell you, it has been bliss. With my daughter, I was a tentative, worried, careful, slightly (alright, more than slightly) paranoid first time mom who worried about sleep schedules, 2 ounce feeds every 2.5 hours, counting daily wet diapers and the like. I am not really a baby person--except to my own--and I hadn't been around that many children before I had mine. I read up on everything related to newborns while I was pregnant and wanted to make sure I was meeting (well, exceeding) every expectation and milestone. Its not that I didn't stop to savor the moments and enjoy it all, but I think I was so overwhelmed with the whole process that I didn't appreciate the journey. The miracle I had created. The wondrous 9 month process my body (and emotions!) went through to bring a real, blessed, perfect, innocent little child into this world. The days --and endless sleepless nights-- rolled one into the other and the baby stage became the toddler stage in the blink of an eye. While every life stage of a child is wonderful in its own way, before I knew it, I was looking into pre-schools and piano lessons.
With my son, I feel calm and capable and relaxed and I am enjoying the journey. While I didn't necessarily enjoy being pregnant, I learned to appreciate every turn and kick and hiccup and poke I felt with this little man inside of me, knowing what a remarkable experience it was. I have happily spent entire days lounging around with him--feeding him and holding him while he sleeps-- and haven't worried about the things I could be doing if he was in his glider and I had my hands free. I sit and stare at his face and try to imprint the curves and folds that mark a newborn, because they so imperceptibly yet quickly change. I now appreciate the solitude that comes from just he and I in a quiet house- with everyone gone to work and school-as we learn together how to navigate our new life. With my daughter, we had a firm rule that she would not sleep in our bed. With my son, he has spent every night of his little life in a Dock a Tot in my bed between my husband and I, so I can look at him while he sleeps and I can hear his every move. I mentioned that I was not a baby person but I have discovered I am a mother person through and through. I think mothers are amazing warriors who are part of this wonderful little club. I support every kind of mother and mothering choice- breastfeed, bottle feed, supplement, co-sleep, crib sleep, whatever- I applaud you for the selflessness and tireless love that it takes to be a mother. And I am proud to be a member of this club-- even though its admission requires stretched skin and infrequent showers and months of sleepless nights. I know now that it flies by--like all of the years of our life seem to- and though I am only 3 weeks in, I have finally learned, I hope, to enjoy this journey. Thank you as always for reading, my dearests. Sweetly, Michelle